I'm always looking for an escape route. When G was sick, it was sometimes denial, sometimes anger, sometimes fantasizing about what life...

"For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in." I feel forsaken sometimes. Alone. Forgotten maybe - but...

One of the hardest parts of grief lately is realizing that I have to let go of G. I have to let go of our relationship and the life we...

Grief feels like nausea. A heaviness in my chest. A desire to ignore the obvious: G is gone. Grief is too hard to be faced. So I...

For Grief Share, I'm supposed to journal about what I miss the most about G. It's hard to even know where to begin. I miss his presence...

September 19th. 9 months since G died. Over the last two nights when I lay down in bed, I have been flooded with memories of the night...

I need margin in my life. It feels like a rat race. Being a solo parent. Working. Doing life alone. It is relentless. Part of it is...

Today is P's first day of school - ever. He's been homeschooled up until now, but homeschooling isn't an option for widows (at least...

Since G died, I have dreamt about him probably the majority of the nights. It was every single night for months. Sometimes it was really...

Today is 8 months since G died. It's been 8 months since he sat across from me at the table where I am sitting now and drank a glass of...

I've thought to myself many times since G died that if I could just understand what happened, I could maybe accept that he's gone. I know...

The heaviness just doesn't go away. The ache in my chest. 7 months... almost 8. My first full week of work almost coming to a close. 5...

I never thought grief would feel like this after 7 months. It feels like a pit in my stomach, a burning in my chest, a heaviness in my...

Today is Wednesday and G's Memorial Service is on Saturday. 3 days. Yesterday, P and I went to our church for a final planning meeting...

G's Memorial Service is in 5 days. Last week I cried a lot just thinking about it. My grief felt so raw. The reality that he is really...

P went to a grief camp for kids yesterday by the Eluna Network. What a gift it was. He spent a day learning how to process his feelings...

One of the things that comes with outliving your spouse, especially at a young age like me, is the necessity to keep going. If I was 88...

I spend a lot of time feeling alone. There's a type of aloneness that comes with losing a spouse that is hard to explain. It permeates...

We're at our favorite beach in OBX this week with G's brothers. I knew it was going to be a mix of fun and hard, but it's different than...

G loved the 4th of July. Not because he was very patriotic but because he loved fireworks. As a kid, he poured over fireworks catalogs,...