A Young Widow's Reflections on Chronic Illness, Loss, Grief and Faith

CONFESSIONS OF A LIKELY WIDOW
A Young Widow's Reflections on Chronic Illness, Loss, Grief and Faith
Lazarus & Wondering Why
For years, the story of Lazarus in the Bible has stood out to me. A friend of Jesus' becomes ill - deathly ill. Jesus is a mere 20 miles...
Remembering and Letting Go
One of the hardest parts of grief lately is realizing that I have to let go of G. I have to let go of our relationship and the life we...
The Beginning of the End - Part 2
I remember that I ran into my neighbor - I think it was on the way to the hospital or maybe when I was outside on the phone with the...
The Beginning of the End - Part 1
September 28, 2020 is a day I won't forget. Looking back now, I see it as the beginning of the end. Yes, G had been hospitalized in...
Missing G
For Grief Share, I'm supposed to journal about what I miss the most about G. It's hard to even know where to begin. I miss his presence...
9 Months
September 19th. 9 months since G died. Over the last two nights when I lay down in bed, I have been flooded with memories of the night...
Anticipating the Memorial Service
G's memorial service is a few weeks away. COVID was in full swing when G died. There were mandatory masks and social distancing, limited...
Stages of Grief
I'm in a new stage of grief. The first was survival. Survival was all I could hope for and all I could manage. Each day felt like a...
Pit
There's a pit in my stomach tonight. That old familiar achy feeling. A hole burning in my chest. Sometimes grief feels like pain, like...
Memory Box
I was feeling sad tonight and missing G, so P pulled out his "Daddy Memory Box" for us to look at. Watching my son pull out what he has...
Blue
I'm feeling really down tonight. My heart feels heavy. G would call it "feeling blue". 5 months and two days. Yesterday I sobbed when...
5 Month Anniversary
Today is the 5 month anniversary of G's death. I'm sitting at the table facing "his chair", the one he sat in that last morning as we...
Tears
I think I cried my way through April. Easter, all three birthdays, the 4 month anniversary of G's death. My first time having to...
Panic
Late last night I received a text from a friend checking to see if I have enough gas in my car. I had heard some rumblings about gas...
20 Minutes
By 4:45pm today I had left and returned to my house 4 times. It was a non-stop day of parenting and squeezing in school work and other...
The Pictures Stop
For weeks now I've been working on the slideshow for G's memorial service. Taking thousands and thousands of pictures and sorting...
Numb Again?
After so many weeks of intense grief in April - so many firsts without G - I find myself feeling numb again. I want to cry but I usually...
Happy Birthday to Me
Usually G would wake up before me on my birthday (one of the RARE days he did this) and let me sleep in. Or if he didn't wake up first,...
Rough Week & 4 Month Anniversary
It has been a rough, rough week. Rough month, really. April has had our first road rip without G. Easter, P's birthday, G's birthday,...



















