confessionsofalikelywidow
Apr 23, 20212 min read
Birthday Eve
It's the night before my 36th birthday. My first birthday that I won't celebrate with G since I turned 20. We started dating when I was...
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A Young Widow's Reflections on Chronic Illness, Loss, Grief and Faith

A Young Widow's Reflections on Chronic Illness, Loss, Grief and Faith
It's the night before my 36th birthday. My first birthday that I won't celebrate with G since I turned 20. We started dating when I was...
It has been a rough, rough week. Rough month, really. April has had our first road rip without G. Easter, P's birthday, G's birthday,...
Time marches on. Today is April 17, which means that in two days it will be 4 months since G died. 4 months! How can that be? It's...
At first I think it was just wrapping my mind around the reality that G was gone. He died. He DIED. Just comprehending that. He's not...
Today was G's first birthday in Heaven. It is late and I am really tired but I wanted to write down some things about today. I gave P...
We got home last night and are back surrounded by G's things. It is so comforting - his chair, his books, his slippers... At the same...
I made it. We made it. I feel like there is an ocean of grief under the surface but if you stay busy enough there's no way for it to...
I'm sitting on the bed with candy wrappers next to me having just spent an hour looking up stupid reality TV gossip online. I'm numbing...
My thoughts are muddled today. It's our first Easter without G. We are at my sister's house and so it hasn't felt real - not the way...
There have been new hard things being at my sister's house. Hers is the first family that we've visited that resembles what ours used to...
Who am I without G? That's a question that's been coming up over and over again lately. For 16 years my decisions were made in reference...
G was chronically ill for over a decade. Really, starting in 2008 we began dealing with quickly worsening, scary health situations. He...
I'm an introvert. When G was alive I needed some time alone. I woke up in the morning before P and G so that I could have my coffee,...
We started our big trip yesterday. 6.5 hours in the car with a stop at a little zoo. I am so proud of myself for doing it. First road...
There's nothing quite like falling in love. I've been going through an album of pictures from college that starts in the very first days...
I'm tired tonight. During the day I often think of things I want to write about. I'm trying to write every day to catalog this journey...
It's weird how exhausting grief is. Emotionally and mentally I am just spent. Add to that not sleeping well, dreaming about G and...
Today was rough. So many emotions. So tired of everything and every day being so hard. It hit me at the cardiologist this morning that I...
Tomorrow the DNA test kit should arrive. It's a 50% chance that P inherited ARVD/C from G - the genetic condition that caused his first...
Today I gave G's car to a family friend who is in need of one for her new job. One of the first things, practical things, I thought of...