Visiting Family

We started our big trip yesterday. 6.5 hours in the car with a stop at a little zoo. I am so proud of myself for doing it. First road trip with just me and P.

I'm learning what it looks like to do things my way, instead of our way. 13.5 years of marriage and 2.5 years of dating meant a lot of compromise. A lot of finding our norm. Which I am realizing, is different sometimes than my norm.

For a road trip my norm meant: being almost all packed and loaded in the car ahead of time. 6.5 straight hours of kid science podcast (G did not go for the kids entertainment!). Snacks in the car for lunch instead of stopping for a drive-through meal. A non Sheetz bathroom stop. Pulling over at two rest stops for bathroom breaks.

I did go halfsies with P on a stuffed animal at the zoo - that was definitely a nod to G!

We are visiting G's brother and his wife. We haven't had time for adult conversation - me and his brother. P is always around and wanting to play. But I did get to talk to AA about things going on in life and I did get more breaks than usual.

It does feel weird being here without G. But it's nice.

Everything is less lonely and sad when visiting other people. Company, people to talk to, adults. We went to the park today and G would not have been able or willing to do that. The heat, the walking - it was all too much for him. Dinner was salty but no one has trouble retaining fluid so I didn't have to worry about it. There's a lot less stress and a lot more loneliness at the same time.