A Young Widow's Reflections on Chronic Illness, Loss, Grief and Faith

CONFESSIONS OF A LIKELY WIDOW
A Young Widow's Reflections on Chronic Illness, Loss, Grief and Faith
Missing... J?
Here I am, two days into a conference I've been to 12 times with G. And I miss.. J. There've been moments of missing G for sure. I feel...
Loneliness
The family leaves and the loneliness returns. I am searching for something - someone- to take away the loneliness. P isn't the answer. ...
Day One of Year Two
I made it to the other side of yesterday. By God's grace alone I lived through another day that I never would've thought was possible...
Home-going Anniversary Eve
Otherwise known at 364 days after G died. His favorite way to refer to someone who loved Jesus dying and going to be with him was...
Hindsight is 20/20
Last night was a bit of a disaster. Not in the sense that it did any lasting damage. But it sure hurt my pride and was full of bad...
Almost 1 Year
It's been almost 1 year since G died. I have so many mixed emotions and so many confused thoughts. On one hand, this has felt like the...
Taking Off My Rings
I did it last night. During my GriefShare group we watched a video about Heaven. In the video, they discussed that it's important to be...
I Chickened Out
I drove to my meeting yesterday - Christmas cards and Nerds Rope in a bag, ready to be shared. But the tears started welling up below...
Crying Over Nerds Rope
Nerds Rope was G's favorite candy to get in his Christmas stocking. I learned this the first Christmas we spent together at his family's...
Created for More than Grief
Last night at Grief Share, I was reminded that there is danger in taking on the identity of a griever. I am in grief, yes. I am a widow....
Grief Bomb
I called the hospital's billing department this morning, thinking there was a simple clerical mistake. I had paid a bill - a bill that I...
Meeting Myself Again
One of the unexpected effects of G's death is that I'm getting to know myself. That question: Who am I? Who am I when it's just me? Who...
Thanksgiving 2021
Thanksgiving. My first one without G since he came with me to Massachusetts in 2006. He had just had his first cardiac arrest,...
Life is about Jesus
Life is about Jesus So let me hope in Him The lover of my soul Who saved me from my sin Christmas is about Jesus So let me rejoice in Him...
No Distractions = Grief
I've been distracting myself lately. Day dreaming about a future that could be. Imagining myself in a new relationship. Rescued in a...
Band of Gold
My rings. I'm so aware of them lately. My hands tell you that I am married. Unavailable. I have a husband. He is here - present...
Escape Routes
I'm always looking for an escape route. When G was sick, it was sometimes denial, sometimes anger, sometimes fantasizing about what life...
Not Forsaken
"For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in." I feel forsaken sometimes. Alone. Forgotten maybe - but...
Not a Tragedy
This morning, as I spent time reading the Psalms and listening to my favorite podcast - some new perspective came to mind that I felt I...



















