Not a Tragedy

This morning, as I spent time reading the Psalms and listening to my favorite podcast - some new perspective came to mind that I felt I need to write down before I forget it.

G's life was not a tragedy.

G was born into a world where genetic mutations cause ARVD is healthy 20 year olds. A world where some boys who are sexually abused grow up to sexually abuse their own children. A world where doctors make mistakes and are sometimes cruel in how they treat their patients. A world where medicine can perform transplants but then the very medications you need to keep your transplant healthy can slowly start to kill your other organs. A world of COVID isolating you and making it hard to get help when it was needed. A world in which you don't realize it but you are deciding between dying in an ambulance and dying at home. This is a hard world.

Yet

G's life was not a tragedy.

God allowed all those things in this world to affect G. G was born into a world that is broken. A world that turned from God's original purpose - a world in which his design of perfection, peace and harmony has been dashed. Into that world of sin and suffering, G was not born immune. No, God allowed the brokenness of the world to hurt G. God allowed all these things into G's life. Not because he didn't love G but because this is life in a broken world.

Yet

God broke through. Jesus rescued G. G wasn't looking for God - God came looking for G. He took what would be utterly tragic and purposeless and infused it with purpose - giving G a chance to know and glorify his Creator. G's story of pain and hardship became the very thing that God used to give his life eternal significance. It gave him an urgency in sharing the gospel. A crystal-clear vision of the meaning and purpose of life. A commitment to telling others about Jesus that is evident in how he lived his life -even leveraging his time with nurses in the hospital to share the gospel. Not because he had to. Not because he was being cooerced. Not because he would get some glory from it on earth. But because it was GOOD NEWS to him. It had changed everything. God was real. The implications of that one fact changed G's life and through him, God changed so many lives.

And then after so many years of suffering - from abuse, from trauma, from mental health, from side effects of medications, from the reality that he would not be there to watch his son grow up, from frustration and disappointment in ministry, from betrayal by family and friends, from that unendingly gnawing sense of loneliness, from the dark thoughts that plague him - he was rescued.

God brought him home in a way that has shaken me to my core, yet was exactly what G wanted. Home. Surrounded by loved ones. No machines, no doctors, no beeping, no blaring lights. Not hospital gowns. No embarrassment of someone changing and cleaning you. No tubes. A Christmas tree. His loved ones. His beloved mentor. A sweet hospice worker named Janice. Kisses to his boy. Saying goodbye. A quick end. As far as I can tell, 30-60 min of intense, horrid suffering that I will never forget. And yet, I know that that is short compared to so many. Yes, Jesus was merciful to G in the end.

And now he's with his Lord. Whole. Free. In perfect joy in Jesus' presence. "Well done my good and faithful servant". He ran the race, he finished the fight. He tripped and fell many, many times yet God upheld him through it all.

His life was not a tragedy. I need to remember that.

I miss him. I wish he was here. I wish things where different. I wish he hadn't suffered, hadn't been abused, didn't need that new heart, didn't die at 35 with a 6 year old son and young wife. I wish he could decorate the tree instead of having died next to it. I wish I wish I wish.

But God.

God wrote his story. God planned his days. God used the worst things in his life to bring him to eternal life. God saw him and loved him through it all.

His life was not a tragedy. His life was NOT a tragedy.