Created for More than Grief

Last night at Grief Share, I was reminded that there is danger in taking on the identity of a griever. I am in grief, yes. I am a widow. My dear husband died in front of me not even 12 months ago. I was thrown into the ocean of grief, my life changed in an instant and has been changing ever since. It has been dark, and hard. There has been despair. I have wondered why I should go on, who I am, who's next?

And all those things are normal-- to a point. There is a time for the deep, consuming grief of a horrible, life-altering loss.

God's Word says this in Ecclesiastes 3 1-8

"To everything there is a season,

and a time for every purpose under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to break down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

a time to search and a time to count as lost,

a time to keep and a time to discard,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace."

There is a time, but that time isn't forever.

In the Grieving Parents Christmas Support Group I attended this week, the leader shared William Worden's 4 tasks of grieving. There is accepting the loss, experiencing the pain, adjusting the to the new environment, and reinvesting in life.

There was a time to weep and to mourn. It came because God called G home - it was his time. to die. And I will still have moments, hours, days, maybe even weeks where the grief waves hit and the grief feels consuming.

And yet, there is a time to laugh. A time to build. A time to dance.

Because I was made for more than grief. I am not primarily a griever. No. I am a child of God. A daughter of the King. As G would say, "a princess of Heaven". I have a hope, I have a future. God has a plan and a purpose for my life that did not end when G's life ended.

I need to mend, rebuild. Laugh and not feel guilty. Feel okay about feeling okay. Heck- even allow myself to find new love if that's something that God has for me.

My counselor yesterday passed on her daughter's wise words for life: "Follow the bread crumbs". I don't have to know where all of this is going. I can follow the breadcrumbs. Even if they look like joy and fun (which feels scary right now because grief feels more comfortable!). I can follow the breadcrumbs into a new season that God may just fill with joy.