confessionsofalikelywidow
Dec 19, 202111 min read
One Year
One year ago, I woke up a little early, surprised to find G standing by the bed and a light on. He was restless and told me he'd been...
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A Young Widow's Reflections on Chronic Illness, Loss, Grief and Faith

A Young Widow's Reflections on Chronic Illness, Loss, Grief and Faith
One year ago, I woke up a little early, surprised to find G standing by the bed and a light on. He was restless and told me he'd been...
Otherwise known at 364 days after G died. His favorite way to refer to someone who loved Jesus dying and going to be with him was...
Last night was a bit of a disaster. Not in the sense that it did any lasting damage. But it sure hurt my pride and was full of bad...
It's been almost 1 year since G died. I have so many mixed emotions and so many confused thoughts. On one hand, this has felt like the...
One year ago, I could never have imagined what this next week would bring. One year ago was a normal Saturday. Sure, one affected by G...
I did it last night. During my GriefShare group we watched a video about Heaven. In the video, they discussed that it's important to be...
I drove to my meeting yesterday - Christmas cards and Nerds Rope in a bag, ready to be shared. But the tears started welling up below...
Nerds Rope was G's favorite candy to get in his Christmas stocking. I learned this the first Christmas we spent together at his family's...
The night before G died, we got him comfortable for the first time in at least a week. I had spent much of the previous day on the phone...
Last night at Grief Share, I was reminded that there is danger in taking on the identity of a griever. I am in grief, yes. I am a widow....
I called the hospital's billing department this morning, thinking there was a simple clerical mistake. I had paid a bill - a bill that I...
One of the unexpected effects of G's death is that I'm getting to know myself. That question: Who am I? Who am I when it's just me? Who...
Thanksgiving. My first one without G since he came with me to Massachusetts in 2006. He had just had his first cardiac arrest,...
Life is about Jesus So let me hope in Him The lover of my soul Who saved me from my sin Christmas is about Jesus So let me rejoice in Him...
I've been distracting myself lately. Day dreaming about a future that could be. Imagining myself in a new relationship. Rescued in a...
My rings. I'm so aware of them lately. My hands tell you that I am married. Unavailable. I have a husband. He is here - present...
I'm always looking for an escape route. When G was sick, it was sometimes denial, sometimes anger, sometimes fantasizing about what life...
"For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in." I feel forsaken sometimes. Alone. Forgotten maybe - but...
This morning, as I spent time reading the Psalms and listening to my favorite podcast - some new perspective came to mind that I felt I...
One of the hardest parts of grief lately is realizing that I have to let go of G. I have to let go of our relationship and the life we...