confessionsofalikelywidow
Mar 16, 20211 min read
Empty House
Tonight we came home from a trip to an empty house for the second time. Last time I was unprepared for how hard it would be. This time I...
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A Young Widow's Reflections on Chronic Illness, Loss, Grief and Faith

A Young Widow's Reflections on Chronic Illness, Loss, Grief and Faith
Tonight we came home from a trip to an empty house for the second time. Last time I was unprepared for how hard it would be. This time I...
Tonight I finished a quilt for my son that I made out of G's bandanas. G started wearing bandanas on his head the summer before his...
We went skiing today at the slope in my hometown. I haven't been since I was in middle school and it was P's first time. This was...
We're on our second trip away from home since G died - back to my parents' house. A change of scenery does a lot of good. Being out in...
How do you catalogs a life? How do you record the moments, the memories - big and small - that make up a person? What about the less...
Tonight I feel sad. So, so sad. And down. Depressed. I feel overwhelmed. I feel alone. I feel like those who care don't understand...
Grief is exhausting. This morning I was on a video call for an hour and a half listening to stories of how G impacted people's lives and...
The final pine tree near our townhouse was cut down today. G loved those trees. G loved trees. Anything big and mighty and old -...
I'm so thankful for counseling. It's hard. But good for me to gain perspective - especially with the disappointment I received...
One of the crappy parts of grieving is broken promises. Today I got the hard news that UN and AA won't be moving to our town. In...
Every night before bed we would say this to each other: Goodnight I love you Best friends Marry you again Keesh In the last few weeks...
I've been having this really strong need to celebrate G lately. I think part of it comes from looking at old pictures. I've found...
A couple days ago I found the DVD of our wedding. We hadn't watched it in years - a decade maybe? I was struck by so many things. How...
"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ...
I'm no one's priority. I used to be G's. There was someone who thought of me. Prioritized me. Preferred me. Someone who was my...
It's been hard to sleep lately. It's hard to fall asleep. Night is finally my time alone, my time to process, and sometimes my time to...
Last week I finally removed my toe nail polish. It had been on my toes since before G died. A few days later I put on new polish. From...
My counselor reminded me yet again that G's death was a severe mercy. In my grief and longing to see him again, it's easy to forget just...
This afternoon I Facetimed with an older widow. We hadn't met before but she works with the same organization as I do. We talked for an...
I saw more people than usual today. A lot of days it's just me and P. Those are hard days. Two hurting people dealing with loss. Today...