Empty House

Tonight we came home from a trip to an empty house for the second time.

Last time I was unprepared for how hard it would be.

This time I was ready for it. I pre-ordered us dinner from Panera to be delivered because I knew dinner time would be rough. I ordered groceries to be delivered because I knew that staying busy would be helpful and it would be nice to have food for the morning.

I asked people to pray.

It felt quiet and hard and heavy, but not so shockingly empty and sad as last time.

P had a tough reaction though. He said he didn't want to be home over and over again - that he wanted to be anywhere but here. He wanted to go back to visit grandparents. It feels different at home. It's not fun at home.

He whined until I couldn't handle it anymore. I snapped at him. Then I had to apologize. It's been exhausting but now he's quietly drawing in his room waiting for the final tuck-in of the night.

Sigh. Second time done.

It sure is hard being home.