Every night before bed we would say this to each other: Goodnight I love you Best friends Marry you again Keesh In the last few weeks...

I'm no one's priority. I used to be G's. There was someone who thought of me. Prioritized me. Preferred me. Someone who was my...

It's been hard to sleep lately. It's hard to fall asleep. Night is finally my time alone, my time to process, and sometimes my time to...

Yesterday, my brother-in-law helped me download over 26,000 pictures onto G's computer from an external hard drive. Over 26,000! I spent...

I saw more people than usual today. A lot of days it's just me and P. Those are hard days. Two hurting people dealing with loss. Today...

I constantly feel like I'm failing. As a mom. As a missionary. As a neighbor. As a daughter. As a recipient of gifts and kindness. My...

I have to vent for a second. I am already so tired of resources for widows that present remarriage as the solution to being a widow. As...

There are so many things I want to remember. G's laugh - especially his ridiculous one that sounded like a single goose honk. All of...

This morning I heard about another woman who was widowed this week. She works for the same organization as me and has 3 kids. Her...

How is he really gone? My best friend. The love of my life. My husband. My safe place. The one who has always felt like home. The one who...

I miss having someone that I have inside jokes with. G and I would constantly catch each other's eyes across a table, a room, or a...

My brother in law came today. P and I have been alone for 9 days - our longest stretch so far. It has been HARD for both of us. Having...

About a month ago I tried to go to my online Bible study. I thought it would be encouraging to see the other women and hear Truth from...

On teaching my son math. Today was horrible. I cannot homeschool, and be mom, and take care of everything with finances, and look for...

Today is my first Valentine's Day without G since we started dating. Our first Valentine's was in 2005 and we started dating the fall of...

Being a single parent is harder than I could've imagined. And it's very different than parenting on your own because your spouse is away....

I woke up feeling okay this morning. Even hopeful! As if I could keep going and life might have joys in it. Maybe there is a future...

We drove home today. The drive went so well and P had a great attitude. Even though yesterday he was furious at the idea of coming home....

I completed my 4th private school application for my son today. Part of it was a parental review of the child's behavior which included...

I haven't posted in a while - this week was crazy. It was our first week home alone since G died and it was utterly exhausting. I don't...