Widowed Momma

Being a single parent is harder than I could've imagined. And it's very different than parenting on your own because your spouse is away. There's a permanence and a loneliness involved. It's knowing that help isn't coming. It's realizing all the weaknesses of your parenting because no one else is there compensate. It's realizing that you can't be mom and dad, and your kid needs both.

There's no break unless it's lined up way in advance (and you pay for it).

There's no one to bounce decisions off of that is as invested as you are.

There's no one to jump in if things are going awry.

Parenting is hard. Being a mom has always demanded more than I feel I am capable of giving. But this? Being the only parent?

I know that G would be rooting me on. He believed in me. He would believe I can do this. I keep reminding myself that I'm raising P for both of us now. I want to make G proud. I want to do well for our son. But it is harder than I could've ever imagined.