For years, the story of Lazarus in the Bible has stood out to me. A friend of Jesus' becomes ill - deathly ill. Jesus is a mere 20 miles...

Here I am, two days into a conference I've been to 12 times with G. And I miss.. J. There've been moments of missing G for sure. I feel...

The family leaves and the loneliness returns. I am searching for something - someone- to take away the loneliness. P isn't the answer. ...

I made it to the other side of yesterday. By God's grace alone I lived through another day that I never would've thought was possible...

Otherwise known at 364 days after G died. His favorite way to refer to someone who loved Jesus dying and going to be with him was...

Last night was a bit of a disaster. Not in the sense that it did any lasting damage. But it sure hurt my pride and was full of bad...

It's been almost 1 year since G died. I have so many mixed emotions and so many confused thoughts. On one hand, this has felt like the...

One year ago, I could never have imagined what this next week would bring. One year ago was a normal Saturday. Sure, one affected by G...

I did it last night. During my GriefShare group we watched a video about Heaven. In the video, they discussed that it's important to be...

I drove to my meeting yesterday - Christmas cards and Nerds Rope in a bag, ready to be shared. But the tears started welling up below...

Nerds Rope was G's favorite candy to get in his Christmas stocking. I learned this the first Christmas we spent together at his family's...

The night before G died, we got him comfortable for the first time in at least a week. I had spent much of the previous day on the phone...

I called the hospital's billing department this morning, thinking there was a simple clerical mistake. I had paid a bill - a bill that I...

Thanksgiving. My first one without G since he came with me to Massachusetts in 2006. He had just had his first cardiac arrest,...

I've been distracting myself lately. Day dreaming about a future that could be. Imagining myself in a new relationship. Rescued in a...

My rings. I'm so aware of them lately. My hands tell you that I am married. Unavailable. I have a husband. He is here - present...

I'm always looking for an escape route. When G was sick, it was sometimes denial, sometimes anger, sometimes fantasizing about what life...

"For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in." I feel forsaken sometimes. Alone. Forgotten maybe - but...

This morning, as I spent time reading the Psalms and listening to my favorite podcast - some new perspective came to mind that I felt I...

One of the hardest parts of grief lately is realizing that I have to let go of G. I have to let go of our relationship and the life we...