My rings. I'm so aware of them lately. My hands tell you that I am married. Unavailable. I have a husband. He is here - present...

I'm always looking for an escape route. When G was sick, it was sometimes denial, sometimes anger, sometimes fantasizing about what life...

This morning, as I spent time reading the Psalms and listening to my favorite podcast - some new perspective came to mind that I felt I...

One of the hardest parts of grief lately is realizing that I have to let go of G. I have to let go of our relationship and the life we...

I left a meeting this morning and looked at my phone. I missed call and voicemail from my mom urging me to call her, and a text message...

6 year olds shouldn't lose their dads. Not dads so sweet and loving as G. College students shouldn't have cardiac arrests and be life...

I remember that I ran into my neighbor - I think it was on the way to the hospital or maybe when I was outside on the phone with the...

September 28, 2020 is a day I won't forget. Looking back now, I see it as the beginning of the end. Yes, G had been hospitalized in...

September 19th. 9 months since G died. Over the last two nights when I lay down in bed, I have been flooded with memories of the night...

Since G died, I have dreamt about him probably the majority of the nights. It was every single night for months. Sometimes it was really...

I've thought to myself many times since G died that if I could just understand what happened, I could maybe accept that he's gone. I know...

G loved the 4th of July. Not because he was very patriotic but because he loved fireworks. As a kid, he poured over fireworks catalogs,...

G's memorial service is a few weeks away. COVID was in full swing when G died. There were mandatory masks and social distancing, limited...

Yesterday, I got a text from my brother-in-law about Arby's. He had just eaten there and thought that maybe G liked Arby's but couldn't...

Today marks our 14th anniversary. G isn't here but I still feel married to him in my heart. I wear my rings and cannot imagine taking...

G understood so many things better than I do, and one of those things was walking with Jesus. Illness has a way of clarifying things -...

I had a chance to go on a walk and think for the first time in weeks. And of course I started thinking about G. Gosh have I been missing...

The days, maybe even weeks, right after G died, I could barely eat. I felt so nauseous. So incredibly sick to my stomach. Grief felt...

Today is the 5 month anniversary of G's death. I'm sitting at the table facing "his chair", the one he sat in that last morning as we...

G's aunt has been suddenly thrust into the caretaking role after her partner went from healthy to terminally ill (aggressive brain...