A Young Widow's Reflections on Chronic Illness, Loss, Grief and Faith

CONFESSIONS OF A LIKELY WIDOW
A Young Widow's Reflections on Chronic Illness, Loss, Grief and Faith
Day One of Year Two
I made it to the other side of yesterday. By God's grace alone I lived through another day that I never would've thought was possible...
One Year
One year ago, I woke up a little early, surprised to find G standing by the bed and a light on. He was restless and told me he'd been...
Home-going Anniversary Eve
Otherwise known at 364 days after G died. His favorite way to refer to someone who loved Jesus dying and going to be with him was...
Almost 1 Year
It's been almost 1 year since G died. I have so many mixed emotions and so many confused thoughts. On one hand, this has felt like the...
One Year Ago
One year ago, I could never have imagined what this next week would bring. One year ago was a normal Saturday. Sure, one affected by G...
Crying Over Nerds Rope
Nerds Rope was G's favorite candy to get in his Christmas stocking. I learned this the first Christmas we spent together at his family's...
"I Love You All the Way Around to the Back"
The night before G died, we got him comfortable for the first time in at least a week. I had spent much of the previous day on the phone...
Grief Bomb
I called the hospital's billing department this morning, thinking there was a simple clerical mistake. I had paid a bill - a bill that I...
Thanksgiving 2021
Thanksgiving. My first one without G since he came with me to Massachusetts in 2006. He had just had his first cardiac arrest,...
Band of Gold
My rings. I'm so aware of them lately. My hands tell you that I am married. Unavailable. I have a husband. He is here - present...
Escape Routes
I'm always looking for an escape route. When G was sick, it was sometimes denial, sometimes anger, sometimes fantasizing about what life...
Not a Tragedy
This morning, as I spent time reading the Psalms and listening to my favorite podcast - some new perspective came to mind that I felt I...
Lament
6 year olds shouldn't lose their dads. Not dads so sweet and loving as G. College students shouldn't have cardiac arrests and be life...
The Beginning of the End - Part 2
I remember that I ran into my neighbor - I think it was on the way to the hospital or maybe when I was outside on the phone with the...
The Beginning of the End - Part 1
September 28, 2020 is a day I won't forget. Looking back now, I see it as the beginning of the end. Yes, G had been hospitalized in...
Missing G
For Grief Share, I'm supposed to journal about what I miss the most about G. It's hard to even know where to begin. I miss his presence...
9 Months
September 19th. 9 months since G died. Over the last two nights when I lay down in bed, I have been flooded with memories of the night...
Understanding What Happened
I've thought to myself many times since G died that if I could just understand what happened, I could maybe accept that he's gone. I know...
4th of July
G loved the 4th of July. Not because he was very patriotic but because he loved fireworks. As a kid, he poured over fireworks catalogs,...



















