First Night Alone

Tonight will be our first night home alone since G died. UN left this morning and my parents come late tomorrow.

Lots of friends are praying for today and tonight for me. Maybe that's why I feel okay? It feels like G is on a retreat. It's the weekend, we did the Starbucks drive through, some crafts and playing. A friend stopped by to drop off gifts for P and she came in a bit and it felt good to see her (for the first time since February 2020!).

It doesn't feel like we are alone tonight because G died. It feels like we are alone because sometimes he would leave for a few nights. And those nights were like a nice break. No cooking meals, just doing fun things with P. No one to worry about but me and P. So it feels weird that this feels the same way. But I'm glad because I think God is protecting me from the hard reality that this is how it is from now on. This isn't a break - this is life.

And a friend is watching P outside for me now so I got a chance to go for a walk, do some relaxing stretches and now write this. Another friend comes tomorrow to give me another break.

So far so good. We are making it.