First Father's Day

It's our first Father's Day without G.

I woke up feeling numb to this.

Yesterday was full of grief and sorrow. A wave of grief hit. So far, I don't feel anything.

We're headed to decorate G's grave with a Father's Day flag and bring us some flowers from our garden. Last summer, in the middle of the pandemic, G encouraged me so much to grow my garden. It always makes me think of him. At first P didn't want to pick any of the flowers but then he agreed it would be special to bring them since we grew them.

Then we're off to an amusement park. G loved rollercoasters. We actually never went to an amusement park together but talked about it a lot because he loved rides and rides terrify me. We had a deal that he would be the one to take P on rides. Of course, he was too sick for us to ever make it to a park, but gosh he would've loved riding rides with our son.

So today we celebrate G. I'm going to do it G's way. Not stress about when we get there or when we leave. Spoil my boy a bit with treats and maybe a souvenir or two. Really just lean into to the fun and leave my type-A, scheduled, worried self behind.

It's Father's Day. Time to love on our boy the way G would want us to.