Being with Others

Being with others helps. I need to remember that.

It's something I dread a lot of the time. Rarely is there space for a grieving widow in a social situation. It's one thing to be with people that I have a shallow relationship with that. That helps every time. We pretty much ignore the obvious and talk about the things we would've discussed even if G was alive - the weather, COVID, politics, our kids, the neighborhood, plans, our extended families, etc.

What's hard is the friends who know me well. The ones who want to be there for me but maybe don't know how. The ones who ask questions but maybe have suggestions instead of compassion.

On my birthday, we went to a friend's house for a little birthday celebration with a few of my closest friends. I almost canceled. I was weepy all day, missing G, hating that it was my birthday, and just generally wanting to sit in the sadness. But P was excited to play with friends and celebrate my birthday so we went. And I'm glad.

I didn't feel as out of place as I expected. I didn't cry when it was time for everyone to sing Happy Birthday. My friends listened when I shared about some of the changes happening in my life and how difficult it is. We talked about G, laughed and shared stories.

And I came home feeling lighter - even looking forward to seeing more people in the future.

It helped to be with others, and I need to remember that.